There is a rising trend in something called a “Gray Divorce” which refers to the divorce of older “gray-haired” couples, usually over the age of 40 years old, in long-term marriages. Gray Divorce can also be called mid-life crisis divorce, baby boomer divorce or retirement divorce and surprisingly, normal divorce rates have reduced over the last few years whereas these gray divorces are actually increasing! Of course divorce is always hard no matter what age you are, but if you’re divorcing after a long term marriage of 20-30 years, there are a few things you should consider and a few things Mr. James Kenny would like you to know about so you can decide on either hiring Mr. Kenny to be your divorce attorney, or whether you should consult someone to help you mediate everything amicably.
Gray Divorce Reasons and Things to Consider:
There are many reasons why some couples choose to go through divorce after so many years of marriage and in such a late stage in their lives. It’s very common for couples to spend most of their married years working long hours and stay busy raising children, only to find that they grow apart during that time. When their children get older and no longer live in the family home, the couple realizes they no longer have anything in common or they just simply don’t enjoy each other’s company anymore and decide to divorce. Sometimes these couples are able to amicably mediate their divorce, but if there is a disagreement about what one of the partners should get or how they should split their pensions or the estate, they might need to hire an attorney to represent them in court…this is where The Family Law Office of James J. Kenny comes in. Sometimes couples need a divorce lawyer experienced in these kinds of gray divorces in order to properly assist in the process of critical legal and financial issues.
Sometimes another reason for a gray divorce is how differently each person in the marriage aged, and their health. If one spouse is healthy but the other has aged much worse in terms of not being able to hear, constantly complaining about pain or just plain acts old, it can be very difficult for the other spouse, which could lead to the desire to separate. Or one spouse might be really active and the other might be a couch potato that would rather stay home all of the time. Sometimes in these situations, the healthier spouse leaves for a younger partner that helps them feel younger too and these separations normally require the help of a divorce attorney because the spouse being left is normally very bitter and unable to mediate amicably.
Another issue that arises in these mid-life divorces pertains to the way money changes after they retire and have to learn how to live on a fixed income. If one partner’s spending habits are bad, it can negatively affect the marriage and create difficulties in the partnership. While the couple was in their prime and money was coming in just as fast as it was going out, it was easy to overlook the bad spending habits, but now that both spouses are retired and have to learn to live on what they have in their fixed retirement, it can lead to many problems. Although mediation would be a good option in this situation, it is not always possible because by then, the spouse with the bad financial spending habits is set in their ways and cannot or is not willing to change. The problem is that when looking at what each spouse will be making once they separate and split their pensions, they might realize it would be better financially to stay together. Even when splitting the profits from an estate, it might not provide enough money to sustain the amount of years they might live. Mr. James J. Kenny is experienced in looking at all of these financial options and helping you come to a decision about whether you will be able to mediate or need to fight in court for what you feel is fair.
Longer Life Expectancy Creates More Gray Divorce:
Aside from people just generally being much more independent in this day in age, one of the reasons it is believed that gray divorces are becoming more prevalent is because people are living longer than ever before. According to statistics from the Social Security Administration, a man that is 65 years old can expect to live till about 84-years-old and a woman about 65-years-old can expect to live till approximately 86-years-old and about one in four 65-year-olds today will live past 90-year-old! In a marriage that has already lasted 30-40 years, when one or both of the spouses are unhappy and looking at possibly living another 30-40 years, it is very common for them to decide that divorce would be better. In these cases, mediation is a great option but sometimes it’s just not possible. Depending on the length of the marriage, one spouse might be legally able to receive only a percentage of the pension, and if they feel they deserve more, it could lead to a need for a divorce attorney. Or if one spouse wants to split money from an estate they own but the other doesn’t want to sell it, an experienced attorney that is good with financials would be able to assist in that disagreement to find other ways to make the financial split fair. Our Family Law Attorney, Mr. Kenny, is great at these kinds of divorce cases because he is as good as a CPA with numbers and finding a solution that feels good to the spouses involved. Mr. Kenny prefers to work things out in a way that feels fair for each spouse but as always, “not every case needs to be a war, but when it does, we will provide you with reasonable options and aggressively litigate.”
If you would like to schedule your consultation with our experienced divorce attorney for your gray divorce, mid-life divorce or baby boomer divorce, call our office today at 909-476-2661 or visit our website to learn more about our family law offices.
The Family Law Office of James J. Kenny is located in Rancho Cucamonga, Ca and San Bernardino, Ca serving the entire Southern California Region. Mr. James Kenny also works alongside an associate attorney named Mrs. Kelly Price and an experienced paralegal named Mrs. Viviana Jimenez-Cory.